SOS Golf: Par +

The beautiful game of Par+ sponsored by the missing Tricky Dickie Osborne.
(attending the seniors Olympic Hockey???)

And so we headed up to the Wembley Golf Course with some anticipation as we were informed that the new bar was ready to be 'christened' and we were instructed to bring a change of shoes.

And what a lovely scene it was, as the floor gleamed and the beer twinkled menacingly at 8am

Now not all members made it on the day and there were a couple of noticeable missing Committee Members,,,,

The Call of the Crab, was clearly too strong for Earl and Vickie as they headed down to make the most of the Mandurah CrabFest

And who knows what dodgy animals Brett was chasing,,, hehehhehe

Now even in his absence Uncle Earl El Capitain had his say as he called for my non-attendance for the previous week to be documented, not only via email but via The Blog.

As i would not like to offend Disgraceful Earl any more than normal i hereby accept the nomination for the 'Wimp of the Week Award' for last week's no-show.

However, i did peruse the forecast and sought confirmation from the WeatherMan and decided that i was 'sick to fkn death' of playing in the cold and wet,,,,,,, if i enjoyed that i would've been playing in the uk!

I must say that my day off was particularly good fun as my aching bones were

expertly soothed by a fantastic massage,,,,,,,

followed by some general pottering around with a cheeky beer in hand,,,,

finishing with a sugary treat as i chowed down on the beautiful Wifey's lollies!!!

And so what actually happened on the day,,,,, well firstly there was a lot of confusion about the rules and how to properly score, despite them being sent out, but that was easily figured out.

Secondly, due to the missing Committee Members, Wifey was in charge of the Novelties, so please feel free to blame her,,, heheheheeee

Personally i thought you did a great job babe, especially missing out the Golden Hole Flag as this caused The WeatherMan some amusing distress!!!

His mood could only be calmed by some good tender loving and a kiss from yours truely.

Results
As per normal i don't have a lot to say here, as i didn't write down any of the scores, as i was all-consumed by the $9 Guinness of the bar.

Plus I didn't get a list from anybody,,,, Vickie is obviously still tucking into those gorgeous Mandurah crabs

However i do know who came first, second and third:-

Congrats to Malcolm who brought home the bacon to win the event,,,

with Roland Ze German (i think) coming second,,,,

And Glorious Gardner taking the bronze!

The rest you can find out next week, or on Saturday maybe,,,,

or if you were there maybe you can remember?????

Novelties
Clearly the worst in the world evers,,,,,,, as shown by the fact that nobody won the first one:-

NTP3-- No names!!!!
NTP7-- Roland
NTP15-- Phil
LD17-- Ciaran

Nice work people,,,,,,,

Golden Hole
And so it was a dispute that the Golden Hole was won by Peter, though our group try to state that the prize had been moved to the 16th and he was chasing a false claim.
However after an elongated 'lower lip tremble' we succumbed and awarded Peter the massive $67 for his wondrous shot.

Now The RichMan Peter did state that if anybody missed his round on Saturday to please feel free to tap him up for a cheeky half on Saturday to help him celebrate his winnings (as any good accountant/book-keeper/CFO would).

Fines of the Week
And here they come, the bit i can feel you all champing at the bit for,,,,, and once again we have some doozies,,,,
so in no particular order of amusement:-

Kerry-- for actually getting DQ'd a Wii Golf on the Friday night and asking for extra Mulligans!!!

Greg & Colin-- for driving their cart/tank around as though they were in Dad's Army.

Ross & Charmaine-- for their ongoing attempts at mud-wrestling as their practise shots continued to drag up extra turf at each other, amking the rest of us run for cover.

Shelley-- for practising her chipping into the net beside the first tee,,,, and actually missing it by some distance

Malcolm-- for being, i'm pretty sure, one of the only people for ever 'hitting up' on the group behind,,, as his drive on the 6th hit a the post, and rebounded backwards and sideways and ended up in the water of the 5th.
Top effort Malcolm, i'm proud of ya!!!!

Peter-- for having a fetish for other people's balls, as he goes 'fishing' on the 9th. Not only does he come out with a full net but one of the new ones allegedly ends up in the Prize Pool for the Raffle

Charmaine-- for letting her boobs put us off our putting!
I have never missed so many short putts,,,,, and i have to blame something, as i clearly can't blame myself for such an inept display