American Foursomes

Sponsored by SOS i think.....


And so the The Rio Olympics 2016 are over, and i'm sure the recriminations have already started by every nation as to why they performed so badly, both on the sport field, but more importantly after!

OK so it's not the correct count, but the numbers were small when i first chose it and i can't be bothered to find another one,,,,, but i'm sure you all get the point.

Ironically after the worst off-field performance of The Games, we are playing American Foursomes.

So does that mean to win I had to destroy a toilet, abuse an armed guard and claim i've been robbed????? 

aka Ryan the lying bstard yank Lochte?????





Or do i, as all good Olympians, go out and party all night long harmlessly only to be 'rescued' by two Brazilian businessmen the following morning and taken to the Consulate.

I know which one i'd opt for heheheheee

And in the name of Good Sport and Genial Competition,,,,, and with a big smile
on his dial,,,,, Glen The Organiser decided to pair Ze German with The Pom!!!!
And what a day it was going to be,

as for the second week on the trot our group did nothing but chuckle our way round,,,,

and in between we actually played some golf shots!!!

Oh yeh baby.




The only trouble was that it threatened to curtail our good humour with more heavy doses of fkn RAIN!!!!!!!

Our pool is already overflowing, our sandstone path is showing signs of moss, it's my Mumsies & Sissies b-days on the 19th August,,,, and all this rain is really making me miss the English Summer.

So what would Putin-Gardi do?????????

Well he'd find the nearest bear, ask The WeatherMan for the forecast and soldier on,,,,,

and that's what we did.


Results of Sorts
Again due to it being a team game, my scribes being absent for the awards, and my new found love of $9 Guinness (though i don't think the love is reciprocated by sed $9 Guinness- see later pic!),,,, the list of results is pathetic to say the least.

A fantastic score of nett 61 goes to the Grinning Winners 

Stiff & Pretty Boy

Second Place-- Ze German & The Pom

Lollies-- The WeatherMan & Axman Gordo

As for the rest of the standings, they may be published at a later date,,,, but then again they may not.


Novelties
NTP--  Charm & Graeme
NTP--  Tomothy
NTP--  Charm
NTP--  Wifey

well done to all of the above for their outstanding play!

And after The WeatherMan scaring it soooo greatly last week nobody dared to get close this week and so
The Golden Hole grows for next time.







Fines of the Week
So where to start,,,,,,, but there is a slight disclaimer of slightly more risque fines this time around:-

Gordo's statement to Charm-- "Good luck today in all that rough African bush, as that's where i'm betting you'll be playing from today, hey boet"

Vickie to Gordo-- "You really should get some relief for hitting your balls in a bag!"

Roland to Ciaran-- (In Arnie stylie) "So whhaaaaaat is your bloody name???? Is it Karen??? How do u pronounce eeetttt?"

Brett to Fran-- After poor Derek was unfortunately stung by a bee and being nursed by Stiff for the evil bite,,,, Fran was 'instructed' to 'look after' him in the most wifely manner,,,,

Peter-- for using a very lame excuse for not playing very well and blame on the blister that he has on his finger,,,,,,,, after practising too bloody much!!!!!!!!

Peter-- for not only being The WeatherMan but also the now acclaimed Olympic FisherMan after fishing out more balls than Caitlyn Jenner.

Random Pics

I told you the $9 guinness didn't 'share the love'!

According to The WeatherMan the weather satellite was down.

Tomothy hiding from the paps

Just look at that innocence???!!!
And my fookin name is Ciaran

Great to see ya Av, looking mighty fine

Whispering sweet nothings

Just wait for your surprise when you get home Derek,,,,, nudge, nudge, wink, wink

Look into those eyes,,,,, you're under

Calm before the storm

Baby love and smiles all round

Not a clue what this is about?????????

Happy Happy Happy

El Pres looking thoughtful/playful/mischevious

Apparently that is only a coffee

Oh i earned this!

I wannna play,,,, i wanna play

I've had no sleep for days/weeks/ever

you don't need words

Par +

The beautiful game of Par+ sponsored by the missing Tricky Dickie Osborne.
(attending the seniors Olympic Hockey???)



And so we headed up to the Wembley Golf Course with some anticipation as we were informed that the new bar was ready to be 'christened' and we were instructed to bring a change of shoes.

And what a lovely scene it was, as the floor gleamed and the beer twinkled menacingly at 8am








Now not all members made it on the day and there were a couple of noticeable missing Committee Members,,,, 

The Call of the Crab, was clearly too strong for Earl and Vickie as they headed down to make the most of the Mandurah CrabFest


And who knows what dodgy animals Brett was chasing,,, hehehhehe




Now even in his absence Uncle Earl El Capitain had his say as he called for my non-attendance for the previous week to be documented, not only via email but via The Blog.

As i would not like to offend Disgraceful Earl any more than normal i hereby accept the nomination for the 'Wimp of the Week Award' for last week's no-show.




However, i did peruse the forecast and sought confirmation from the WeatherMan and decided that i was 'sick to fkn death' of playing in the cold and wet,,,,,,, if i enjoyed that i would've been playing in the uk!

I must say that my day off was particularly good fun as my aching bones were

expertly soothed by a fantastic massage,,,,,,, 

followed by some general pottering around with a cheeky beer in hand,,,,

finishing with a sugary treat as i chowed down on the beautiful Wifey's lollies!!!



And so what actually happened on the day,,,,, well firstly there was a lot of confusion about the rules and how to properly score, despite them being sent out, but that was easily figured out.

Secondly, due to the missing Committee Members, Wifey was in charge of the Novelties, so please feel free to blame her,,, heheheheeee

Personally i thought you did a great job babe, especially missing out the Golden Hole Flag as this caused The WeatherMan some amusing distress!!!

His mood could only be calmed by some good tender loving and a kiss from yours truely.










Results
As per normal i don't have a lot to say here, as i didn't write down any of the scores, as i was all-consumed by the $9 Guinness of the bar.

Plus I didn't get a list from anybody,,,, Vickie is obviously still tucking into those gorgeous Mandurah crabs

However i do know who came first, second and third:-

Congrats to Malcolm who brought home the bacon to win the event,,,

with Roland Ze German (i think) coming second,,,,

And Glorious Gardner taking the bronze!

The rest you can find out next week, or on Saturday maybe,,,, 

or if you were there maybe you can remember?????



Novelties
Clearly the worst in the world evers,,,,,,, as shown by the fact that nobody won the first one:-

NTP3--   No names!!!!
NTP7--   Roland
NTP15-- Phil
LD17--   Ciaran

Nice work people,,,,,,,


Golden Hole
And so it was a dispute that the Golden Hole was won by Peter, though our group try to state that the prize had been moved to the 16th and he was chasing a false claim.
However after an elongated 'lower lip tremble' we succumbed and awarded Peter the massive $67 for his wondrous shot.

Now The RichMan Peter did state that if anybody missed his round on Saturday to please feel free to tap him up for a cheeky half on Saturday to help him celebrate his winnings (as any good accountant/book-keeper/CFO would).


Fines of the Week
And here they come, the bit i can feel you all champing at the bit for,,,,, and once again we have some doozies,,,, 
so in no particular order of amusement:-

Kerry-- for actually getting DQ'd a Wii Golf on the Friday night and asking for extra Mulligans!!!

Greg & Colin-- for driving their cart/tank around as though they were in Dad's Army. 

Ross & Charmaine-- for their ongoing attempts at mud-wrestling as their practise shots continued to drag up extra turf at each other, amking the rest of us run for cover.

Shelley-- for practising her chipping into the net beside the first tee,,,, and actually missing it by some distance

Malcolm-- for being, i'm pretty sure, one of the only people for ever 'hitting up' on the group behind,,, as his drive on the 6th hit a the post, and rebounded backwards and sideways and ended up in the water of the 5th.
Top effort Malcolm, i'm proud of ya!!!!

Peter-- for having a fetish for other people's balls, as he goes 'fishing' on the 9th. Not only does he come out with a full net but one of the new ones allegedly ends up in the Prize Pool for the Raffle

Charmaine-- for letting her boobs put us off our putting!
I have never missed so many short putts,,,,, and i have to blame something, as i clearly can't blame myself for such an inept display

Ciaran-- for his admission of a PB with drinking 22 pints in a night!
Top work dude, especially as i always lost count after my 15th,,, hehehehe

Random Pics

And then there was GOLD!

Nearly a GB number plate

And not a bad number plate for a man that owns a couple of eateries

Beware the smiling assassin

Gorgeous

I'm not sure what Ross was doing, but me eyes nearly popped out

Not quite a halo for Ciaran, but certainly a glow

Where's my pizza!

Dad's Army in their Tank

Lynne's victory

BFF's