Par Bisque

Sponsored by our resident kiwi Steph.

And so battle commenced on a warm and sultry day for the unofficial "Stiffi Cup".
There was a welcome back to the lovely Steph, but due to an unfortunate badminton injury (a strained calf),,,,

she was unable to play and therefore came along to hobble and present her prize.








The day started better for some than it did for others as certain people were accused of burglary.
Who would do that i hear you ask? 

Brett tried to 'make off' with someone else's clubs that were clearly newer.

Nice try mate,,,,, heheheheheheee







The guy in question, who tracked Brett down looked suitably upset/annoyed/grumpy/
peeved,,,, 

especially when i stuck my phone in his face to get the required pic for the Blog.

Some people are just too bloody miserable!








Big WELCOME BACK shouts go out to Steph, Dave Mandy, Travis and our resident Retailer fresh from his buying trip to Vietnam,,, The Coach!

Great to see you all back!!!!








It also went a little bit "shonky" for El Presidente, as she was seen heading in completely the wrong direction and was last seen heading to the 1st of the Tuart.

Ooooopss,,,,

 And so onwards with the golf,,,,,,,


The Results
Yeh, sorry about this but once again i've lost my list of placings,,, well to be fair, i didn't write them down and forgot to ask anybody esle to send them to me,,,,

so my bad!

The only thing i've got is a pic of me accepting the award on behalf of Donzil Don Beesley who had to shoot off!
I was going to try and photo-shop him in, but then i found out after looking through my photos that i seriously don't have one of him....

For that reason Donzil you will be forever known as the Scarlet Pimpernel (or until i can come up with something bettereererereer)


And yes that is Don next to Kerry!!! -------------------->

But well done mate with a magnificent score of +7








Novelties
As promised/threatened last week when handed the novelties i was true to my word and we had 4 Longest Drives!

Fortunately there were only 2 ladies in the field so the complaints were minimal (boooo hiss i cried! hehehe)

LD1 -- Glen
LD9 -- Phil
LD10-- Dave
LD18-- Stan

And once again the Golden Hole simply accumulated, and didn't go off.
There's always next week peeps!


Fines of the Week
And now for the real reason for the Blog,,, the much loved Fines/Quotes of the Week,,,
Once again there were plenty on offer, and below is just a brief example of the hilarity both on and off the course, in no particular order:-

Ron-- After having a bad day at the office,,,, and consistently being required to play again he was heard to say
"I'm off to visit New Zealand i've had so many Still Ewes!"

Ron-- following on from the above and the bad day, Ron was seen heading deep into the bush, whereby you could hear the swing of a club, then the dull thud of ball on timber, followed by the rustle of grass and leaves,,,,,, another swing of the club, followed by another thud of ball on timber, and another rustle of debris,,,,,, and repeat,,,,,, and then followed the shout from the bush in a Brigadier's tone:-
"Carry on lads!"

Ron & Rita-- not that i'm picking on you, but this was all fair game as the poor pair had to suffer the poor fortune of a broken down cart!

Rita-- it wasn't really a fine for Rita but just to continue the theme for the unlucky twosome (hehehehehe), it was noted that Rita's fantastic tan was mainly due to spending sooooo much time out of the cart looking for Ron's ball.

Brett-- after talking to Stan, was heard to say:-
"He's a very wise man, is his name Confucious?"

Dave-- simply has to fined for his poor use of his shots,,,, after shooting a 9 on one particular hole (and not wanting a minus) choosing to use 5 of his shots????
Mmmm not really the idea,,,

Next week
Please make sure there is some effort in the attire, as out of respect for St Paddy's Day. we are playing Oirish Stableford 

Plus please don't forget that if anybody has any motions for the Committee Meeting forward these directly to El Presidente, Shelley Yeo as soon as possible.

The meeting will be held upstairs at the range at Wembley

Random Pics

What the heck are these coloured cups about?????

I blame my golf on your driving! Hehehe

VC choice from Vietnam-- Stableford on the Tuart

I think the sponsor was good ol' SOS,,,, thanks Team SOS!



Unfortunately the field wasn't as bountiful as possible as the temperature had once again claimed a few fallers along the way.


And as is often the way at Wembley when it's a bit tepid, we set out for a hot and painfully slow front 9.

Even the wildlife was overtaking us.


The play was soooooo slow, after 9 holes Vickie stopped off for some Afternoon Tea,,,,, 

whilst a few of us considered retiring to the 19th early to rehydrate 

Pre- whack off, some chose to seek solace in the shade












And others tried to just while away a wicked hangover,,,,, eh Ron????

T'was indeed a tough day mate, as I literally felt your pain!







others merely surrendered to the elements,,, and laughed it all off! 

Run for the hills, was the cry
















Birfdays
it would appear that Shelley was misinformed with the birfdays for this week.

As we had 2:--

Ron 'The StarGazer' Conway
&
Paul 'Sunnies' King


HAPPY B-DAY GUYS,,,, I hope you both got spoiled.




Results
And so onto the scores on the doors:-

1st Phil McKeague - 39. Birdies 9th & 11th holes
Another one in the bag fella!

 2nd Ian Holmes - 36 (on 1st countback)
 So close me ol' mucker

 3rd Paul King - 36 (on 1st countback)
 Well done PK

 4th Ciaran McGlue - 33 (on 1st countback)
 Nice result

 5th Richard Osborne - 33 (on 1st countback). Birdie 16th hole


 6th Colin Kerr - 33 (on 1st countback). Birdie 1st hole

 Glen Pope - 33. Birdie 4th hole
 Greg Bennett - 33
 Don Beesley - 32
 Steve DeSantis - 32
 Peter Baird - 31. Birdie 9th hole
 Graeme Powell - 30
 Brett Fordham - 30
 Earle Scarff - 30
 Ron Conway - 29
 Gordon Neilsen - 29
 Paul Gardner - 26
 Nola DeSantis - 26
 Kerry Gardner - 25
 Vickie Scarff - 22
 Beautifully read fines Vickie,, heheheee

Good to see the new members featuring on the podium!!!!


Novelties
NTP 9--  Ian
NTP10-- Glenn
LD17--   Phil
NTP18-- Ron

And no the Golden Hole didn't go off again,,,, the paltry amount in the kitty clearly isn't doing it for us at the mo.


Fines of the Week
As normal there were a few on offer, and apologies if i've missed any of the classics from saturday, as i find it very tough, to listen, write & drink at the same time,,,, something has to give!


Peter The Juggler Baird-- ahhh Peter, having played with you for the last couple of weeks i have to say it is indeed a pleasure to watch you try and swing yourself off your feet with almost every shot.
But there were a couple of other 'moments of madness':-
a) scoring on the wrong card, and on the wrong 9 (not bad for a Financial Wizard!)
b) Deciding to putt when Richard was almost in his putting stroke,,, and virtually standing in the hole
c) Saving the best to the last,,,,, the drinking problem,,,,, clearly the Ginger Beer was too powerful as it slipped through his grasp whilst sitting down for the presentation.
It must be noted however that it was a great 'rescue catch' as minimal fluid escaped.

Paul Gonchy Gardner-- a truly horrendous round of Scattergun Golf, losing 4 balls in total,,,, 2 from the tee on the 6th,,, 
interspersed with McAngry moments,,, aaaarrrgggghhhhhh

Phil Macca McKeague-- or Pip as he is affectionately called by his friends and family for bringing out the Mary Poppins Pose

Kerry Where Are My New Clubs Gardner-- for abusing Gordo when she climbed back into the golf cart and burning her butt, and blaming him for deliberately parking 'her side' in the sun

*Disclaimer alert-- the above Fines bare little resemblance to the truth.
For an accurate representation of the facts, please ask the person in question.


Random Pics

Quite an apt numberplate for a man with a bistro

Blimey, how long do we have to wait?????

A visit by the Stangers

I'm not talking to you,,,,
and i'm ignoring you

wedded bliss x

It's just like being back at school with these nicknames,,, says Sticky McGlue

Laughing again as i clean out that Gardner foolchild again,,,, will he ever learn?

Look at those wheels

Concentration as the eyes go down for the Committee's Raffle

AGM is on the 19th March,,,, venue yet to be confirmed

Please send any motions direct to Shelley as soon as poss

Ambrose Pairs

And here it is, The Return of The Blog

The reason why we missed last week,,,,, a beauty trip to Smiths Beach

Thanks Earl & Vickie

Mad chefs at work, but as you can see with the wine in hand it was hard work!!
















Wahhhaaayyy We Missed You, i hear you cry,,,,, and what a game to return to for the joyful team game that is Ambrose Pairs.

All the teams were sizing each other up before the tee-off and there was plenty of banter flying around,,,,

The Poms,,,,, Oh Peter if only we could sink a putt!
















Unfortunately for Steve,,,, Ciaron 'Sticky' McGlue was a no-show,,,, and the rumour-mill was chuntering about a particularly excessive night on the turps (reuters*)

*as Ed i am unable to confirm nor dispute such a wicked rumour



Some people were so determined to waste any energy, and brought their own caddy and driver!

The gorgeous Monika acting as driver, counsellor and Iphone retriever for the returning Gordo.


Who, rumour has is Bruce's new No1 Salesman!!!! 

WELCOME BACK MAAAAAAATE!!!







So on with the day,,,, and the important matter of the results


The Results
But just before we get into the day's action,,,, one from the recent archives and a picture of the glowing winner of the Summer cup.

Well done Shelley on a marvellous result!














And the winners & grinners of the Ambrose Pairs is,,,,,

Yep it was an education in both golf and expletives from Gordo & Phil.
Nice work boys!!! 

A winning score of NETT 60


2nd-- Malc & Glenn & Steve with NETT 63
Did somebody say something about Ambrose Pairs????? Confused?????
Hehehehee


3rd-- Vickie & Stan with NETT 66.25


4th-- Peter & Paul with NETT 69.5


5th-- Kerry & Ian,,,, and Derek & Colin with NETT 69.75


7th-- Frances & Greg with NETT 71.75


8th-- Don & Dave with NETT 72


And the Lolly-winners

Nola & Richard with NETT 72




So all-in-all not a bad day at the office at all.
Golf's the winner!



Novelties
Beautifully announced by Derek The Orator Longhurst


LD 3-- Phil
NTP 6-- Glenn
LD 11-- Glenn
LP 18-- Vickie


And the Golden Hole did actually go off,,,, but due to late arrival, and missing out on putting his money into the pot,,, a very magnanimous Don Honest Beesley refused to take the winnings!

No pictures please!



Well to be honest it wasn't really worth winning at about $30, but Donzel didn't know that at the time!!!












Fines of the Week
As per usual there was plenty to work with but below are a few off my favourites:-

Paul & Gordo-- "f**k,,, f**k,,, f**k,,, a**e,,, w****r,,,f**king game!


Monika-- acting as a true diplomatic after hearing the above for the first 9 holes and commenting:-
"Yes Gordon, you did start a bit slowly today didn't you?"


Phil-- losing his Iphone and sending/asking Monika to search for it

Gordo-- after accidentally spilling his water bottle on Monika, announcing:-
"Well golf is a wet t-shirt competition after all!"

Vickie-- it wouldn't really be a fine without a contribution from Vickie,,, and this was a blinder!

After been told to:-
"Go home and sleep with The Captain" 

she replied with the classic line:-
"But what about Stan????"

Stan-- just ask him about The Giggle-Putt whilst sledging Vickie!

I'm sure there were many more,,,, i hope you enjoyed them.


Next week
From the far distant climes of Vietnam,,,,,, the VC choice from the Vietcong

Is STABLEFORD,,, woo hoo,,,












Random Pics from the Days Play

DON'T FORGET THE AGM ON MARCH 19TH.

Please get any discussion topics to Shelley as soon as possible.