SOS Golf

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Ladies Day meets The Mug 2016

Sponsored by,,,,, I can't remember again, but it was very kindly donated by someone,,,, actually it's just come to me it was the fine members of the SOS Committee.

and so it was the return of Ladies Day, with a NAGA prize of The Mug for man who comes last!

For those that remember last year a couple of us likely lads dressed up and played in dresses (well at least for the first couple of holes!).

Unfortunately Kerry wouldn't let me do that this year, as she said it'd been done,,,, so i had to put my thinking cap on

So lo and behold, i ended up putting one of wifey's thongs on instead.

The trouble is i managed to put it on the wrong way round and now it looks like a buggle eyed blowfish!
hehehehee

The trials and tribulations of trying to be amusing, eh?

As you may have noticed, my beautiful wife, Kerry had returned from her

family sojourn over to Ireland.

Damn it's good to have you back babes!

Plus other welcome backs to Phil Mickelson McKeague, Derek The Butterfly Hunter, Fran The Gran (from their travels to Brissy) and Part-Time Bernie on her return from Dublin.

Some members carbo-loaded before the match.

But we weren't actually sure if Bernie was 'loading' for the golf or for the general chatter to keep her going throughout the round!

Athletes eh?

Of course with such an event there comes much discussion from the Ladies about anything and everything,,,, some to do with the game, what happened last week, feelings etc

All pretty standard really as they gathered around and gossiped hehehee

It even carried onto the first tee, as the first group (pictured on the right) continued to gas about despite the calls from the guys up top calling out:-

-- 'Hurry the f##k up'

-- 'Quick games a good game'

Looks like it could be a long day!!!

Question
What do you officially call a Group of Ladies?**

-- Gaggle

-- Chatter
-- Fluff
-- Intelligence
-- Council
-- Moan

answers on an email please,,,,,,

** thanks to a male member who shall, of course, remain nameless for the above question

Only joking Ladies, because i have to say that it was actually a pretty speedy round and everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves.
But as said before never let the truth get in the way of good banter!!!!!!!!

Anyway enough blah from me, and onto the rest of The Blog

Captain's Corner
Thanks as always to Vickie for these comments!

A very dusty neglected Mug Cup was returned by last year’s winner, Derek – only to be taken home again by Derek as the lowest scoring male.

Derek, it is not true that if you win it 3 times in a row you can keep the Mug!

Stephanie was the best of a high scoring lot of ladies although Kerry pleaded jet lag.

Colin bombed out of the Medford comp with a career high on the 1^st hole but had a creditable 33 stableford points for Golflink.

Golflink: Stableford scores were entered for Golflink and only changes were:-

Brett down 1 to 12 (GA 11.4) and Glen down 1 to 9 (GA 8.7).

Club Championship Round 1 is next Saturday on the Old Course with a late 9.40am start.

To be eligible you must play at least 5 of the 7 Club Championship rounds and at least 11 games (including played Club Championship rounds) in the Winter season.

BBQ next Saturday at Perry Lakes: The licensed marquee at Wembley is being pulled down this week to make way for a mini golf course, so drinks after the game will be at Perry Lakes with a BBQ.

Results
Well done to Stiff on bringing home the bacon, and winning the Ladies Day

event,,,,

We're all pretty sure she's happy it isn't another cup that she has to take home to NZ, and doesn't need to strengthen her mantle-piece anymore!

But well played!

Winning Lady (with lowest score): Stephanie Jeffaries 19

Mug Cup (male with highest score): Derek Longhurst 28 (on countback from Malcolm Yeo)

The rest:

Ian Holmes 14

Brett Fordham 16

Glen Pope (Birdie 14^th) 17

Gary Burgess (Birdie 9^th) 18

Don Beesley 19

Ciaran McGlue 20

Paul Gardner (Birdie 10^th) 21

Phil McKeague (Birdie 14^th) 22

Frances Longhurst, Earle Scarff, Graeme Powell 23

Shelley Yeo 25

Rob Gray 26

Greg Bennett, Hopalong Pete Baird 27

Vickie Scarff, Malcolm Yeo, Derek Longhurst 28

Lynne Malone 30

Kerry Gardner 33

Bernie Caffrey 36

Congrats to Derek for retaining the much-loved Mug Cup!

As we've always said, if you don't come first you might as well come last!

At least you go home with a prize, woo hoo.

Novelties
NTP 2-- Stiff
NTP 6-- Rob Gray
NTP10-- Paul
NTP15-- Glen

You'll all be pleased to hear that the Golden Hole didn't go off!
And so the coffers grow.

Fines of the Week
And here we go onto fun-times and fine-times, and remember never let the truth get in the way of an amusing anecdote:-

Earle to a bunch of guys:-
"It's going to be a pleasure playing with all the blokes, as at least we'll all see where the ball goes"
Controversial Captain i hear you cry!

Peter talking about his cat AGAIN:-
"I have to put my cat in a bucket before i brush it"
to which Vickie is heard to reply
"Peter you are obsessed by your pussy"

Gary talking about his wife Linh:-

Colin:-
Poor Colin as he managed to replicate Ernie Els on the first having 6 putts and DQ'ing himself by picking the ball up!
I feel your pain brother!!!

Fordy & Gardi:-
after being level pegging after 15 holes, Fordy hit's a fat one to halfway of the green, to which Gardi says:-
"Ahhhaaahhhh at last, you've left the door open for me"
At which point i also hit a fatter one a third of the way,,,,, to tumultuous laughter and Fordy shouting:-
"Hehehehehe looks like you've just slammed in your own face!"

Random Pics

The only golfball to use on Ladies Day,,,

The Cougar!

Love your club, and it will love you back
or at least that's the theory!

What did you say about all the talking,,,,,, just you wait!

Rose between the thorns

The happy Colin before the tee-off and The Scarlet Pimpernel once again showing his good side.

Right lads, let the fun commence

Get that wallet open fella

An irishman and an englishman go to the golf course,,,,,,,,
complete the rest yourselves

The Ladies Table in celebrating stylieeeeee

An englishman and an unhappy irishman,,,,,,,,,,

Let's see those cheesy grins!

Yes Gardi, i took your money and your beer,,,,,

Pretty in pink

The Scarlett Pimpernel strikes back!

See ya all on Saturday peeps, for the first round of the Club Championship and of course the BBQ down at Perry Lakes!!!

Bring it on!

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Perry Lakes Cup

Perry Lakes Cup donated by The Italian Stallion, Lorenzo Ferrentino and sponsored by SOS.

It was just a shame Lozza couldn't get the time off from his busy job in Qld and get over for his comp,,,,,,

maybe next year pal, we all hope to see ya soon.

And so the day came around for me to defend my last cup, and what a day in store we had as both the forecast and Peter The WeatherMan insisted it was going to be a rather damp day,,,,, perfect for a late afternoon Sausage Sizzle!

Just like home i thought.

Some heeded The WeatherMan's advice and came dressed for the occasion,

and wore their best Sou'wester.

You wear it soooo well Davey-boy!

Now not to pick on The WeatherMan,,,, but i think i may have offended him last week over his excuse for being late by combing his cat,,,,

Lo and behold, as soon as i had parked my car and started to get my clubs out i was approached by Peter The CatComber brandishing his phone and explaining how the feline needs to be brushed every day otherwise there'll be such a mess when he gets home!!!

Ahhhhh,,,,,,,, isn't that sweet!

if anybody needs any advice on looking after their animals, The CatWhisperer is in da house!

Anyway, a couple of Big Welcome Backs as we saw the return of our resident Team Racer Graeme, Don The Pimpernel Beesley and Phil Punter McCleod.

Great to have ya back peeps.

Captains Corner

A gentle reminder to all to check your handicaps on the Timesheet or on Golflink as one DQ on Saturday for a member playing with a higher handicap than the Golflink handicap. However, the actual score has still been entered for Golflink purposes.

Next week: Ladies Day and the Mug Cup –

After much angst and falsely accusing Gary of winning the Mug Cup 2 years in a row, I can announce that the last year’s winner was Derek and hopefully he will have returned from stormy Brisbane and his bonny granddaughter to hand over the Mug Cup (AKA as the NAGA Award in some circles) to the losing male player of the day.

Competition for Ladies Day:

The ladies have chosen Medford and, although a novelty competition, full stableford scores will be kept for Golflink records but no Consistency Award points.

Please also note, scores will be counted for the Eclectic for the Old Course.

Rules for Medford:

On the front 9, you must putt out all holes so that you enter a stroke score. You must also show your stableford score on the front 9.

On the back 9, only your stableford score is needed. To determine the winner, you deduct your stableford score on the back 9 from your net stroke score on the front 9. The lady with the lowest score is the winner of the comp. The male with the highest score, ie the last placegetter of the males, takes home the Mug Cup. For example, if you have a nett 35 on the front 9 and 20 points on the back 9 your total score would be 15.

Lotto counter mystery:

President Shelley has donned her Sherlock Holmes hat and is investigating the disappearing Lotto counters. First person questioned was Vickie who tried to blame me for putting 3 of the missing counters in her bag!

The Results
As always the Return of The Pimpernel creates havoc one way or the other as he ran away with the Perry Lakes Cup,,, before running away early to attend matters at home.
So The Pimpernel once again avoided his photo being published,,,, mysterious and mysteriouser.

Well done maaate, and hopefully the above pic does ya justice.

1^st Don (Bandito) Beesley (Birdie 8^th) 41

2^nd Phil McLeod (cb) 38

3^rd Graeme Powell (Birdie 2^nd) (cb) 38

4^th Stanley Tan (cb) 38

5^th Earle Scarff 35

6^th Greg Bennett 34

Shelley Yeo, Malcolm Yeo 33

Brett Fordham (Birdies 15^th & 17^th), Lynne Malone, Cairan McGlue (Birdie 9^th) 32

Gim Ong 31

Paul Gardner, Vickie Scarff 30

Richard Osborne, Gary Burgess 29

Ron Conway 28

Peter Baird, Glen Pope (Birdies Ha Ha!), Gordon Neilsen 27

Dave Williamson 26 – ah la lollies!

Very well read Fines Davey boy,,,,, good to see plenty of contributions, notably by myself,,,heheheheee

Novelties
NTP2 -- Graeme
NTP9 -- Gary
NTP14 -- Phil
LD17 -- Don

And yeehhhhaaaahh the Golden Hole went off,,,, as The BlogMeister pocketed the massive sum of $22
Add this to the raffle money i won and my cheeky little side bets were covered.
Phewwwwwwwweeeee

Fines of the Week
and so to the best part of the Blog and my chance to dish out a bit of retribution and general gossip mongering,,, ENJOY!

Earle to Stan -- After 10 holes of constant chatter, as Brett was lining up for his tee shot, Earle was heard to say to Stan:-
"shush Stan, you'll put Brett off, and you know what he's like when he's angry"

Brett then lands 2ft from the pin and replies:-
"If i hit them like that, you can talk anytime China!"

Paul to Brett -- after checking on the side bet after 11 holes, and finding out he was falling slightly behind,,, Brett was roused into action,,,, and went par, birdie, par, birdie, par to take the money, and earning the title of the ComeBack Kid,,,,,,,, ya b'stard! Hehehee

Brett -- He loaded his car the previous night with an eski full of ice and beer but forgot to insert the bung correctly.
"If anyone wants some water there's 4L in the back of my car!"

Brett to Gim -- Gim saunters up to the BBQ and asks:-
"Is there anything i can do to help?"
To which the response from Stan was:-
"You're like a blister,,,, you only turn up after the work is done!" hehehhehehheeheeeee brilliant!

Glen to Lynne -- caught tapping his watch at Lynne for alleged slow play. You're a brave man mate!

Gim -- yawning all the way round 18 holes,,,, i reckon somebody had a late night last night,,,, where's that Red Bull eh?

Dave & Malc -- after being unable to agree on the scores they took side stage at the Sausage Sizzle for at least 30 minutes as they colluded about what happened.
Where are the mathematicians the cry went up!?

Sausage Sizzle
A big thanks to all that helped out on on the day as we struggled against the elements for what was a very enjoyable afternoon in the showers to reproduce a very English Barbie!

Special thanks to the chefs,,,,, Brett, Earle & Stan for making life easy for the rest of us and taking charge of the cooking.

A very proud man as he sweats his onions.

Get that beer open fella

Bigging into the scoff

Looking a bit glum there Ian.

Random Pics
Somebody said, and i can't remember who it was, that there were too many selfies of the BlogMeister,,,, so out of respect for that individual, please enjoy the pics below:-

The CatWhisperer sharing advice

Welcome back dude

Cheers for those kind words Greg

The glumness of a wet day

The placing and accepting of small wagers

One of the few pics without one of us yawning,,,

Ahhh

One of the 3 lies i had behind a tree!!!!

See ya on Saturday for the Ladies Cup dudes and dudettes!!!!

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Stableford on the Tuart

Sponsored by SOS.

A fine day was in store as we gathered on a sunny autumn day for a game of stableford on the Tuart.

Most were there early collecting cards and organising themselves,,,,, some even having a last bit of a cheeky practise before the inevitable disappointment of the first hack into the trees

heheheheee

But then, some were a little bit late,,,,, eh Peter?????

I was going to save this for the Fines of the Week, but it's just too good to save,,,,,

but Peter's excuse was that he was "combing his cat"

I know i'm a doggie (that's doggie NOT dogging!) man, but who the heck combs their cat on a Saturday morning??????

Is he the only one, or is this but a late April Fool????

Anyway it makes for a cracking, if slightly strange excuse or reason,,,,,
Peter you will never surprise me with your amusing stories and anecdotes (reference Kalgoorlie 2015).

So what a great start to the Blog eh?

Ciaran surprised myself and several members by making the the start despite his birthday drinks, and looked far too sprightly for my liking,,,,,

though on closer inspection the eyes were a smidge on the red side!

I also hear that Roland ze German had a wonderfully alcoholic 60th up in the northern suburbs.

Congrats on surviving another year!!!!

There were also a few Welcome Backs to the SOS fold.

Great to see Grumpy Richard Yeo back smashing it miles (the club that is, not the ball),,,,, Ron The StarGazer,,,,, The Mysterious Ian Holmes,,,,, Colourful Rob Gray,,,,,

Apologies if i've missed anybody, but you all know i'm a goldfish and that's all i wrote down.
Anyway onwards and sideways.

But before i get onto the rest of the Blog, i just wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to say a MASSIVE CONGRATS to my gorgeous sis, Liz Browne, who has just been promoted to CFO of her law company over in Bermuda!

Now i actually believe that academia, studying and MBA's are preferable over a life of 'winging it' and throwing balls!
Proud of ya sis!!!

Back to the golfy stuff

Captains Corner
So what has happened since the last sat?
Please settle in and see the news from the Scarrfs including most importantly my handicap going out AGAIN! Arrggghhhh

And a Sausage Sizzle,,,,,,

Peter The WeatherMan has already predicted that we should be fine as the potential storm will have abated by the time we get settled down in the park,,,

but probably be wise to come a bit prepared,,,,

A good win from Peter beings his daily handicap down by 1 on the Tuart Course to 17.

The loss of 4 handicap points following his great win last week didn’t stop Ciaran from returning a creditable 34 points this week to still score 1 point in the Consistency and lower his handicap by 1 to 20!

Unfortunately the only 2 other changes to the Tuart daily handicap were up by 1 by both yours truly and Paul to 14.

Stan’s 2 birdies helped him to achieve 3^rd placing as his putting skill was absent for most of the game (obviously my advice to Stan last week on plumb bobbing was ignored). Vickie has offered to give him a few tips.

Paul will have an incentive to play better next week so as to retain the Perry Lakes Cup (stableford comp).

Remember to go straight to the BBQ at Perry Lakes after you finish next week. Social Director Brett will be organising food and drink.

Yes my cupboard will soon indeed be bare,,,, unless by miracle of miracles the clubs can remember what they are supposed to do for at least 17 of the holes,,,,

mmmmmmm

Results
So onto the results,,,,,,,,,,,,

Yayyyyyyyyyy Peter!!!!

1^st Peter Baird (Birdie 11^th) 39

2^nd Ron Conway (Birdie 7^th) 36

3^rd Stan Tan 35 (Birdies 6^th & 13^th) 35

4^th Earle Scarff (on 1^st countback) 34

5^th Greg Bennett (on 1^st countback) 34

6^th Ciaran McGlue (on 1^st countback) 34

Brett Fordham (Birdies 7^th & 17^th) (on 1^st countback) 34

Don Beesley, Paul Gardner, Lynne Malone (Birdie 17^th), Stephanie Jeffares 33

Glen Pope (Birdies 6^th & 13^th) 32

Dave Williamson, Shelley Yeo (Birdie 5^th) 31

Richard Osborne (Birdie 14^th), Rob Gray, Richard Yeo 30

Gim Ong 27

Ian Holmes 23

Novelties
NTP 3-- nobody,,,, yes nobody hit the green!!! Must do better, says Coach.
NTP 7-- Brett & Ron (well done Rita) in da hole
NTP15-- Dave
LD 17-- Brett

The Tuart's Golden Hole was feeling pretty tight as it failed to give up it's sheckles.
But at least the earnings grow.

Fines/Quotes of the Week
Oh yes and here we go people, the bit that i know you all go to first in the hope that you haven't been overheard or grassed on,,,,,

remember that walls have ears, and sometimes lies maybe be conveyed to the Blogmeister,,,, it may not always be as it seems, so please if in doubt, seek the truth.

Stiff to Glen, Gim & Paul-- for commenting in such a girly way:-
"Hey guys, doesn't the new pavilion look great, and the toilets are lovely"

Reply from Glen:-
"Yeh i know, i just had a great poo in there!"
heheheheheheheheheeeeeee us English and our toilet humour,,, BRILLIANT!

Paul to Malcolm-- just as Malcolm was leaving, i bade him a pleasant
"See ya next week dude!"

The response was a morbid:-
"i hope so!"

I hope so too matey!!!!!!!! Chin up son!

Rob & Richard Y-- for having a little bit of trouble with the cart, getting it stuck on the first,,,, not being able to go forwards or backwards,,,, having to get out and push it to get it going in the wrong direction,,,,, and then nearly driving it into the bunker!
All this on the first hole?
Had you been imbibing, Laurel & Hardy????

Glen & Stiff-- on walking up one of the hills, Stiff disappeared for a moment, but then reappears,,,,, Glen asked:-
"Where'd you go Stiff?"

"I'm over the hill,,,,," came the reply,,, hehehehehee,,,,, no you're not Kiwi!