CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND ONE

Club Championship, Round One. Suddenly the season becomes serious.

What do you mean? I always hit two balls.

Didn't have the greatest round? Not to worry - you're scored on your best five rounds from the seven possible. There are six more rounds to go.

Off on our hols next week

Next week, it's Ladies Day!!

So, it'll be Stableford, with three blind mice.

The girls are getting their costumes ready

That's three holes where the Stableford score won't count. Unfortunately, you won't know which three until after the round. It'll be disappointing if you've birdied one on which you get two points and it gets struck off, but that's a metaphor for life really. Isn't it?



The winner will be the lady with the best score.



And there's a mug's trophy for the guy with the worst score.

Forgotten who won last year?

Next week, we'll have some samples of the SOS shirts for those of you who need to order one.

Pie of the week

Most golf players don't expect to be laughed at before they've even tee'd off. Unfortunately it's a bit of a hazard at Wembley.

Great photo, Rob.


Glen has managed to negotiate a solution with Stirling Golf Club concerning a series of fixture clashes. Kerry will issue an updated fixture list.

News from abroad - as the UK approaches summer, Keith and Carol are snowed in at Windermere. Don't tell them today was a balmy and very pleasant 28 degrees.

They've been passing the time watching golf videos - this one comes courtesy of Keith.


Our thoughts are with Vickie, who has managed to damage a knee and will be out for three weeks.

And most important - we, or rather I, forgot to mention a big birthday this week - happy birthday, Stephanie, and my apologies. Here's a special cartoon to celebrate. Do feel free to sing along.

Let's get down to business. The novelties:

	NOVELTY	HOLE	CONTENDERS	WINNER
	NTP	2	John	Earle
	NTP in 3	8	Ian	Glen
	NTP in 2	13	Derek	Dave
	LD	15	Greg	John

The Golden Hole failed to go off this week.

And the all important first round. A great round from Don:

	PLAYER	SCORE	BIRDIES
	Kerry	83
	Bernie	82
	Gim	81
	Derek	81
	Jeanie	81
	Frances	79
	Stephanie	79
	Ian	79
	Greg	79
	Ross	76
	Peter	75	1
	Paul	75
	Richard Y	74
	Dave	74	13
	Shelley	74
	Glen	71
	John	71
	Brett	71	11
	Earle	70
	Don	65	17

He's not here, so you can have my photo

Looking ahead, we'll be having Christmas in July in August. That's the first Saturday in August, the third. Start getting your costumes organised.

If you're going to have a photo of that Earle Scarff, you might as well have me, too. 

And if you've ever wondered what it feels like to win the raffle, it feels like this:

Next week - Stableford for Ladies Day.

And if you still need a laugh, this comes courtesy of Jan.

GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone brother

2. He liked Gospel

3. He didn't get a fair trial

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father's business

2. He lived at home until he was 33

3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with His hands

2. He had wine with His meals

3. He used olive oil

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He never cut His hair

2. He walked around barefoot all the time

3. He started a new religion

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:

1. He was at peace with nature

2. He ate a lot of fish

3. He talked about the Great Spirit

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married.

2. He was always telling stories.

3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.

2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.

3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.