DIVORCED PAIRS

We're carting

 

Vice-captain’s Choice

Paired up and ready to go

 

What will she spring on us?

Ah, the dreaded divorced pairs.

Where you multiply your Stableford score with your partner’s.

And yes, 4 X 0 is zero!

Keith picks up his trophy from last week

So, what is a reasonable score?

Brett consoles Vickie when she learns he won't be her partner today

 Par x Par on every hole is 4 X 18, ie 72, so that’s a score to aim for.

Has anyone seen our partners?

Last time we played this format, Earle and Michael won with 62.

Back in 2016, Steph and a young man called Ciaran McGlue won with 74

In 2015, Earle and Frances won with 67

And in 2013, Gary and Peter Baird with an impressive 77.

Gary and Peter, with Captain Kerry

It was a strange day.

After a string of 40+ days, we’d been promised a cooler 35 degrees seven days out.

Paul prepares to feed the inner man

During the week, this shortened to a very pleasant forecast of 32 degrees, and by Friday night, a balmy 29.

As it was, the day struggled to reach 24 degrees. It was English cricket weather - dull, overcast with occasional drizzle.

The Rottnest Channel Swim was abandoned half-way through. (too wet?)

But it all made for a surprisingly and unexpectedly pleasant day of golf.

With the light perfect for photography

If you have difficulty sleeping at night, just imagine a round on this beautiful course

The divorced pairs format can indeed put some pressure on relationships

That's for getting a zero on the last hole

Although we would like to remind all players that it is just a game, and not a metaphor for life

Patnered up

Mark Wilson snapped his 5 wood in half, although apparently not in frustration, but in follow-through as he wrapped it round a tree.

There were a number of birdies:

Roland on 1 and 14

Puggy on 4 and 17

Goochy on 10

Shelley on 9

Gary on 8

Karl on 14

Coops on 1

4D on 12

and Popey on 10.

We all know how this feels

Talking of the 10^th, apparently Goochy managed to fly right over the top of Karl, Coops, Gardy and Roland with his drive here. Not content with that, he hit up on them again as they were walking off the next hole. Apologies were, of necessity, profuse, although Coops is claiming he is still suffering PTSD from the incident.

Goochy pulled off a great left-hander to get out of this

And also on the 10^th, Mark Smith managed to suddenly just get it all right with his irons and unleashed one a good 200 metres to hit Popey standing on the green.

We're not divorcing!

Incidentally, Karl’s wife Cyrena was heard to joyfully refer to her Saturdays as  KFDs. 

That’s Karl-Free-Days!

Our Captain is in Chile. That should be a cue for a joke, but it’s not. (Although my father’s only joke, one which he would bring out on every cold winter’s morning, was “It’s so chilly, it’s almost Argentina!”) Feel free to recycle if necessary.

Love Roland's confidence.

Glen was invited by Andrea to read out the novelties. It soon became clear why.

NTP on the 2^nd - Andrea

Ladies longest drive on the 4^th - Andrea

Nearest the bunker on the 14^th - Andrea

OK - well done, Andrea. The rest:

Longest putt on the 5^th - Paul Gardner

Men’s longest drive on the 12^th - Mark Wilson, a beautiful draw to take it right round the corner.

Not sure if Shelley showing how close to fairway on longest drive
or memory of wonderful night in Paris

The Golden Hole offered $123 today, but remained unclaimed.

Fines were plenty, although Vickie announced to anyone who wanted to listen that she hadn’t done anything wrong all day, so she wasn’t going to pay any fines. Fighting talk!

Although there was no individual prize today, the first three places were as follows:

Keith 35

Karl 36

Carol 37

The Barrows keeping it in the family there.

Goochy puzzled about how it all went wrong, while
Puggy wonders what would happen if he sculled a whole tumbler of vodka

And the pair scores ended up as follows:

	PAIR	SCORE
	Peter & Mark W	46
	Andrew & Glen P	47
	Lynne & Lynley	47
	Shelley & Gary	47
	Brett & Kerry	50
	Andrea & Mark S	50
	Goochy & Barry	53
	Derek & Frances	56
	Earle & Vickie	59
	Don & Glenn K	61
	Paul G & Roland	65
	Keith & Carol	68
	Karl & Paul C	73

We combined well

So, a great result Karl and Paul, one over that target score of 72. Congratulations.

The Barrows getting it together today

It's the Lolly Boys!

And before we put the topic of divorce to bed for another year, it’s worth reminding ourselves that it is the differences that bring us together.

THE UNDENIABLE TRUTH ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN:

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay, $1 for a $2 item that

she doesn't need but it''s on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom, toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor. a bar of soap. and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.  

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams_

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! 

Thanks to everyone who provided photographs, and here’s clip from Brett which perhaps shows how far most of us still have to go.

Next week, it’s Captain’s Choice. No prizes for guessing that it’s Canadian Foursomes!

A happy day

SUMMER CUP, ROUND 2

 

Summer Cup, Round 2

Anticipating a great round

Warmish, a little humid, with very little breeze.

That’s got the meteorology dealt with. Now for the golf.

Going to give this ball a great big whack!

It was the second round of a two-week competition, played on the Old Course.

Plenty of contenders still in the mix at the outset.

So you thought the 18th was a tricky hole..

As a reminder, these were the top placings after the first round.

Whose nerve would hold?

Boris puts one right down the middle

The novelties were spread around this week:

Men’s longest drive - Earle went straight down the middle, but 4D stayed on the short grass today, so picks up the prize.

Ladies longest went to Shelley, and off the green tees, too.

Nearest in 2 on the second, Coach (back after the tour), but Boris pipped him, almost in the hole.

Nearest in 2 on the tenth, only one person in it - Maureen!

And nearest in 3 on the twelfth, Puggy, beaten by Goochy, but Coops trumped both of them.

A bit of a technicality, but the handicaps for today’s (one week) competition, were as calculated by Golflink, whereas the handicaps for the two week competition were frozen for the second week. Phew.

Some par3s are harder than others

Kerry and Goochy combined to levy the fines. Vickie was penalised for maligning one of the resident crows, who had apparently stolen her muffin when she looked away.

Turns out, the muffin was still sitting on the counter where she had bought it. She has since apologised to the crow. He’s taken it surprisingly well.

Aw, just off the fairway..

James is apparently out of action for a bit, suffering a stress fracture in his left foot. Get well soon, James. 

Derek and Frances hope to be back in action next week. Both feeling much better. 

Apparently Andrea has now joined one of those posh clubs that set the dogs on you if you try and get it and you’re not a member. 

Better not make any divots on that green carpet. 

Andrea asks that we understand if she fails to acknowledge us when she passes us in the street, as she may be with someone important like the King or something. 

There's golf, and then there's the apres-golf.

So, today’s results.

And Roland a nett 82 on an 18 handicap.

Such a nice trophy, we'll just hold it for a bit

Now, adding the two weeks together - the results for everyone who played both weeks.

		Player	Hcap	Total	Rounds
	1	Keith	9	142	73, 69
	2	Paul B	6	145	71, 74
	3	Mark H	11	145	69, 76
	4	Glen K	11	147	75, 72
	5	Shelley	14	148	75, 73
	6	Paul G	10	150	77, 73
	7	Andrea	16	152	72, 80
	8	Paul C	12	153	80, 73
	9	Don	16	155	73, 82
	10	Goochy	7	158	81, 77
	11	Greg	23	159	81, 78
	12	Barry	21	159	79, 80
	13	Maureen	12	159	76, 83
	14	Earle	16	162	83, 79
	15	Kerry	31	169	78, 91

Well done, everyone who stayed the course.

Did well today

Which means the winner is...

Came close..

Not Paul, but everyone else had buggered off by then.

If Keith were here, he'd be holding it like this..

Next week, it’s vice-captain’s choice, and the rumour is that it will be 4-ball divorced pairs Stableford. Apparently if you divorce during the game, you’re not allowed to remarry before the end.

And a special thanks to everyone who contributed photographs for this weeks blog, especially you, Paul. 

And if you had a couple of shots today that disappointed you, take heart from this video from Boris - the professionals don't always get it right.