Club Championship, Round 5

Proper parky..

As we piled into the bar, drenched and battered, the president opened her address with a comment about the beautiful weather. 

Having finished some thirty minutes earlier, she hadn't had to putt through this on the 17th!


But, golf is, after all, an all weather sport, right? Between teeing off and putting out on that hole, we'd had sun, wind, driving rain, pounding hail, and back to bright sun. So, that's what they mean by all weather? The only thing missing was fog.

Double shot to get me going

Next week, the match play finals. 

Great Grizzly Greg plays Power Panther Peter. We'll be opening a book on the result shortly. 

The three stooges? Not these three...

These are my performance enhancing druggs

Roland's complaining that the blog is too Anglocentric, so here's a special one for him:



It's surprisingly funny for a German joke. 

(Dear fellow, you've been a doctor for years now, yet you're still terrible at golf. What on earth do you do all day?)



By the way, did you hear about the player who spent so much time in the bunker he got mail addressed to Hitler?

We're going to enjoy ourselves, whatever the result

Yes, well, we'll have to take their word for it....

So, how'd we go on the novelties? 

	Novelty	Hole	Contenders	Winner
	LD	1	Frances	Paul
	NTP in 4	4		Vickie
	NTP in 2	6	Frances, Paul	Shelley
	NTP in 3	11
	NTP in 2	13	Shelley
	Golden Hole	16		Earle

I've just put our vacuum cleaner on eBay. Well, it was only gathering dust.

 Golden Hole has gone off this week - Earle made sure of it with a shot that was just a few inches from the hole. No need for a measuring stick on that one. 

And, the fifth round of the Club Championships. Those who got in before the weather should have had an advantage here, but it didn't seem to make much difference. 

	Player	Score	Birdies
	Malcolm	94
	Thomas	87
	Peter	83
	Vickie	83
	Roland	82
	Charmaine	82
	Kerry	82
	Frances	80
	Stan	81
	Stephanie	79
	Gary	79
	Brett	79
	Paul	78	6, 17
	Shelley	76	6, 13
	Derek	76
	Greg	76
	Brenda	75
	Jan	74
	Graeme	74
	Earle	73
	Ron	69

I coloured it in myself

We missed the blog last week, so here are the details, courtesy Vickie:

Only five to beat? Should have a chance.

Tie breaker? Let's settle it with fisticuffs.

Matchplay semi finals:

Greg d Stephanie 1 up

Peter d Gary 2/1  Peter has a birdie on 9^th hole.

Pants in the wash

Let battle commence..

Stableford comp:

1^st Jan Rowling 34 Birdie on 14^th hole

2^nd Roger Blatchford 31

Rain? Never!

3^rd Dave Williamson 30

4^th Earle Scarff 29

Winner of Stableford - too shy!

Look, no wet weather gear

5^th Shelley Yeo 26

6^th Mal Yeo 23

Reported to Vickie after the game that as there were only 6 players in the stableford comp, 1^st prize received a sleeve of golf balls plus $100.00.  Not verified with the Treasurer but heard from a reliable source!

Unfortunately the beard was attacked by moths

Par Plus

Par Plus. Complex scoring regime, here. But I think we had it nailed by the eighteenth. 

That's plus, and double plus

And a nice big field, for what was a very pleasant day's golf. 

I'll be keeping a close eye on things.

All ready, and everything still to play for. 



At this stage, the excitement was positively palpable. 

Being nice today. Match play opponents next week. 

It was all we could do to just hold it together on the tee

I don't know what she's laughing about, I haven't even tee'd off yet

Until the disappointment of a lost ball from the first shot of the day. 

Oh well, only another seventeen holes to play.

Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.






A bit of a digression, but a few people (well, Stan actually) have been complaining they haven't seen any butterfly pictures yet. So just for him, here's Parnassius apollo from Bulgaria:



Country cup will be on Sunday October 1st at Araluen. $65 for the golf and a cart, $10 for the buffet lunch. Gary will be asking for numbers next week. Novelties, prizes, trophies, all the usual fun stuff. 

Dave's anticipating a busy December..

I've been working on my performance..

He'll be alright on the night...

So, how did we all go? The novelties....

	Hole	Novelty	Contenders	Winner
	3	NTP		Earle
	6	Longest Drive	Ron, Shelley, Brett	Phil
	13	NTP in 4	Jan	Ciaran
	15	NTP	David	Ciaran
	12	Golden Hole		Jackpots

After a particularly bad round of golf, Robert decided not to go to the nineteenth hole [the clubhouse bar] and started to go straight home.

As he was walking to the golf car park to get his Range Rover, a policeman stopped him and asked', Did you tee off on the seventeenth hole about twenty minutes ago?'

'Yes', Robert answered

'Did you happen to slice your ball so that it went over the trees and out of bounds and completely off the golf course?'

'Yes, I did. How did you know?' Robert questioned.

'Well', said the policeman gravely', Your golf ball flew out onto the main road and crashed through the windscreen of a BMW. The car driver lost control and crashed into six other cars and a fire engine.  The fire engine was unable to reach the fire in time and the building burned down.  Now, what do you intend to do about it?'

Robert thought it over very carefully and responded', I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.'

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine 

Happy birthday to Graeme - clearly the celebrations had started a bit too early...

	Graeme	-9
	Gary	-8
	Thomas	-7
	Peter	-6
	Frances	-6
	Malcolm	-6
	Ron	-5
	Paul	-5
	Vickie	-5
	Charmaine	-5
	Lynne	-5
	Kerry	-4
	Greg	-4
	Roland	-4
	Shelley	-4
	Glen	-3
	Earle	-3
	Brett	-3
	Ciaran	-2
	David	-2
	Gordon	-1
	Jan	-1
	Derek	+2
	Stephanie	+2
	Phil	+3

I came home from the golf course today.
The wife had left a note on the fridge:

"IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore!
Gone to stay with my Mother."

I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was cold.

What the hell is she talking about?

Congratulations to Phil, another very solid round

If you've having trouble getting your handicap down, there's a new book out, called, quite simply: How to Play Better Golf

 Contents:

Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt

Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Maxfli from the Rough When You Just Hit a Titleist from the Tee

Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker (also see Chapter 9)

Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank

Chapter 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger

Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings

Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management

Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m

Chapter 9 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water

Chapter 10 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee

Chapter 11 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent

Chapter 12 - When to Re-grip Your Ball Retriever

And don't forget:

 Bit hard on the mother-in-law, but that's golf. See you next week.