Winter Cup Rnd 2

Sponsored by the beautiful returning Frances.
(welcome back to The Travelling Longhursts after their adventures in PNG and Queensland)

And so came the second round of the SOS Winter Cup after a week of DQ's and much self-discovery we mustered ourselves to perfect our golf and indeed our scoring!

However,,,,,, as alluded to in my non-blog email we did have one more DQ!!!!!

Who was the latest faller from grace?
Did you guess?

Yes indeedy it was El Capitain himself who was ruled out for signing for a wrong number on his card.


There was some kind of reason and i think Ze German might have been to blame somewhere, but it all got a bit lost in translation,,,,, 

Actually i might have just made that up for poetic license, so please ignore that,,, hehehehehe

But it did put a smile on Mr Oirish's face, if only for a brief minute or two.


And so off we toddled down to the first to face battle, and i had the joy of playing in a group of 3 DQ's & a Tricky.
Now according to Sticky, that is apparently a great hand in poker,,,,,,, but it did nothing for any of our games as we sprayed our balls to all parts!



There was absolutely no need for any sledging, as we all played so badly, and i have to say that when i came off my face was hurting sooo much through laughing so much at all of our random antics!








Winter Cup 2016
A massive well done to Ze German for following up last weeks golf with a second good round, and becoming the first-evers Deutschlander to have his name on the SOS Winter Cup

Runners Up
2nd-- Ian Holmes
3rd-- Graeme Bday Boy Powell


Daily Comp
For those that managed to stay somewhere near the course, and weren't DQ'd please see below a selection of actual golfing prowess:-

1st   Ian Holmes   69

2nd  Gim Ong   70 (cb)

3rd   Roland Stanger 70

4th   Greg Bennett 71
5th   Ross Campbell 73 (cb)
6th   Stephanie Jeffares 73

Kerry Gardner 73
Frances Longhurst 73
Peter Baird 74
Colin Kerr 74 Birdie 16th
Graeme Powell 75. Birdie 9th
Brett Fordham 76
Shelley Yeo 76
Phil McKeague 77 Birdie 17th
Richard Yeo 78
Vickie Scarff 78
Thomas Reilly 79
Stan Tan 79
Glen Pope 79
Paul Gardner 80
Charmaine Stanger 80
Gary Burgess 83
Derek Longhurst 24
Ciaran McGlue 83

Mal Yeo 82 - undeserved winner of lollies because of one blowout hole (see the fines for more info)

Earle Scarff self imposed DQ after remembering at home an extra stroke not shown on his scorecard

Novelties
Unfortunately or fortunately i didn't take any record of the novelties,,,,,, i think i was still p*ssing myself with laughter!

So if you won, well done!!!!
and if you didn't there is always next week,,,,





Fines of the Week
Well, well, well,,,,, where do we start?
I think there can only be one place and that is with Sticky!

Ciaran-- After such a marvellous round of golf (NOT)
which according to Sticky was entirely El Capitain's fault, he decided to not only compete for Northern Ireland in the club throwing javelin event at the Rio Olympics,,,, 

But also for the FULL HOUSE in the Fines, with nearly every one earned and paid for!
Top work dude, it was an absolute pleasure playing with you.

And to help follow a certain theme:-

Gordo-- With the new de-haired look we all expected much from the big man as he strode purposefully to the tee.
Unfortunately he lost not only his hair, but his rag,,,,, as he lost control and demonstrated his strength as he snapped and threw his $500 driver,,,,,, heheheheheheeeeeeeee

Vickie-- in response to the Gordo/Samson display of strength Vickie The LawBird passed down a sentence of 50 lashes.
Unbeknown to The LawBird but Gordo was already sentencing himself to drinkin a copious amount of 150 Lashes!!

Tom-- now Torvill & Dean Tomothy deserves a mention for showing his MASSIVE bruise on his thigh from his efforts at the ice rink last week.
He was either a little inebriated, or simply clumsy as he was allegedly 'attacked' by an evil penguin.
On the plus side,,,, the Bacon Fairy was there for him in his hour of need.

Then there was Greg-- who announced to everybody in a loud, proud and enthusiastic voice
"God i was hot in bed last night!"

And finally, we have poor old Malcolm-- who was going soooo well until he encountered a most unforgiving pot bunker.
Apparently it was reminiscent of a mining excavator as he hacked, smashed and flopped his way for a record-breaking 20 shots in the sand.......
In his defence i did hear he originally had a very bad lie????!!!

** i know it's not a bunker shot but it was the best i could find


Random Pics

Our groups golfing talent today

Discussing tactics

 

This is for you Earle xxx

The ladies

Before the anger-laughing crept in

Big Fella's busted bat

Ceremonial drinks

Ladies Balls- an oxymoron??????
Discuss

Don't cry over spilt wine,,,,, especially when Stiff spills it
hehehehe

Winter Cup 2016 Rnd1- Old Course

Sponsored beautifully by Ross Campbell.


Welcome to Rnd 1 of the 2016 Winter Cup, and what a game of golf it was going to be.
The sun was nearly shining and The WeatherMan had assured us that as long as we were in by 2pm we would all be going home dry!!
Yaaahhhhaaayyy we all cried!

But there was something slightly amiss as the language and innuendo of the SOS Club Members was at an all time high.

So much so this was to be The Most X-Rated Blog Evers!!!!!
But before i can get down to details,,,,,,,,,

SOS CAPTAIN TOUGHER THAN the IOC

 

An exclusive story from your roving reporter Paul the Gonch Gardner

 

In a shocking but true story, SOS Captain EARLE SCARFF  today announced the disqualification of no less than 4 players from Saturday's Round 1 of the Winters Cup.

When asked for a comment he replied:-

‘I am no shrinking violet, I am not like the IOC, if a tough decision has to be made I will make it!!

It was a tough decision , particularly  as one of the recalcitrant players is a committee member.

However in truth, it's a simple matter, it is the responsibility of every player to sign for a correct score and submit a correct card at the end of play.' 

After investigation, It was found that 4 players submitted signed cards with a lower score than they should have.

One can only assume that they did not check the  daily start sheet sheet , which published all the correct handicaps, even as far as being highlighted in red!

It is the case that on occasions the daily start sheet does vary from that first published on late Wednesday.

SOS Captain went on to state:-

'In this case the alterations to handicaps were in red on the start sheet, clearly the players didn’t check.'

In a bid to soften the blow, an empathetic Earl said that the offending players can still play this week and be eligible to win the daily event, however the recalcitrant  players scores will not be eligible for the eclectic competition.

Earl also mentioned:-

'The players will be notified individually and not be publically vilified,,,,, unless that is their wish.'

The Captain's final comment was:-

'although rules are made to be broken and on occasions bent, one of the fundamental rules is you have to submit a correct card, end of story’

 

EDITOR'S COMMENT

'it's tough but fair!

It is up to all of us to check our handicaps on the morning of play, after all you do need to check your name off for the novelties'

Results
So we may have some interesting conversations ahead, but the results for the time-being are a follows:-

1^st   Roland Stanger (cb) 69 (Birdie 11^th)

2^nd  Graeme Powell 69

3^rd  Ian Holmes 72

4^th  Earle Scarff (cb) 73

5^th Glen Pope (cb) 73 (Birdie 3^rd)

6^th Kerry Gardner 73 (complete with an 11 on the card!)

Ciaran McGlue, Colin Kerr (Birdie 15^th) 75

Brett Fordham, Peter Baird, Shelley Yeo 76

Greg Bennett, Stephanie Jeffares, S Tan (Birdies 15^th & 18^th) 77

Ross Campbell (Magpie 16^th) 78

Charmaine Stanger 79

Gary Burgess 80

Vickie Scarff 81

Thomas Reilly (Birdies 3^rd & 13^th), Ben Barnes 82

Richard Yeo 84

Gim Ong 86

Gordon Neilsen 91

Conquered by the rain & DQ'd:  Mal Yeo and Paul Gardner

OOOOOOhhhhh the tension mounts.

Who failed to check their handicap?
How will things change?

Mysterious and mysteriouser!!!


Novelties
NTP2--  Kerry
NTP --   Stan
LD16--  Brett
NTP18-  Stan

Nice work peeps.

Fortunately the Golden Hole didn't go off again so the fund rises to a princely $47.


Fines/Comments of the Week
And now onto the X-Rated bit,,,,, or at least full of innuendo:-

Gary, Gordo & Graeme- comparing their length and thickness!

Gim- for announcing she was 'freezing her kitties off!'

Kerry overheard talking to Brett- 'You have great length,,,, cue the pregnant pause,,,,,, Off the tee'

Ciaran- complaining in the morning that he really needed a cart as his legs were about to give out!

Char- and her beautiful Xmas in July jumper

Kerry- for deciding that my parking wasn't straight enough, re-parking it, and leaving it in a worse position that where it began.

Peter- for being distracted whilst on the phone by a Russian Balloonist.

Brett- for admitting the dangers of using Deep Heat and not concentrating.

Ross- telling Ian he would give him the Clap

Heheheheheeeeeee   heeehehhheheheeeee


Random Pics

Clearly not enough selfies!

God i need this pre-match caffeine injection

Discussions about the round ahead

Fe Fi Fo Fum,,,,,,, i smell the blood

Shaved heads and shaved???????

Back at the beautiful 19th

Beautiful Wifey on stage at the Hoo Haa's!















Next Week
Rnd 2 of the Winter Cup

PLEASE CHECK YOUR HANDICAPS,,,,,, 

or you will feel the WRATH!

MatchPlay Final & Ambrose Stroke

Sponsored by the good old SOS again.


Well, well, well what a palava this week was with about a dozen changes to the running order of the game on Saturday, finally the day game and off we went on our jolly way.


and what were we greeted by,,,,,,,,,, but the  
usual f--kin rain!!!

Oh how we are all over this bloody miserable weather.

Even the WeatherMan looked a little downtrodden.





And finally we got to the FINAL OF THE 2016 MATCHPLAY between Earl The Aussie Battler Scarrf against the irrepressible Ciaran Angry Sticky McGlue.....




and what a final it looked to be as Ciaran The Hoon McGlue announced his arrival with the screaming of tyres of his cart on the first tee.





Meanwhile the rest of us battled our way through the inclement weather thorough a game of Ambrose Stroke.

Now unfortunately my fkn iPhone reset itself, and once again i've lost all my pictures of the day, so this will be an almost pic free Blog.

I did ask for any contributions, and A BIG THANKS go out to Stan The Photographer Man Tan and to a joint contribution from Earl The Lawman Scarff, Gordo The Nasty Neilsen & Travis The Bouncing Barnes for their effort!!!!!


The Results MatchPlay Final
Well obviously there could be only one winner, and after a hard fought battle (and a certain person "losing his sh-t!"),,,,,,,,,,

Earl The LawMan came out trumps!!!!

Well done mate and congrats on winning the cup for a second time!!!!

So the MatchPlay Cup stays in the hands of an Aussie.... woo hoo.


Ciaran the Tears McGlue finally took it all in his stead once the pressure was over and finished the last 5 holes:-

14) Par
15) Par
16) Par 
17) Birdie
18) Par

amazing what a little bit of perceived pressure can do.


Ambrose Stroke
And what a ding dong battle this was in our 4-ball with Paul The Broken and Stiff Kiwi going up against Romantic Brett and Gorgeous Wifey as the game ebbed and flowed all the way round.

The one extra stroke we were behind, and the fact we were chasing behind on the lasst two holes led to both Stiff Kiwi and Paul The Broken succumbing to that damn perceived pressure as we finally sprayed the ball to all parts.

Army Golf was the nature of the game, but what a great contest!

As for the other games i didn't get any other detail apart from the top of the table act of Stan The Asian Bandit and Glen The Colour Co-ordinated nearly got there with a joint handicap of 4!!!
Hehehehe 4 shots,,,, that really would've been something special if you won,,,

So the winners were:-

1) Brett & Kerry

Well done peeps, it was a great match and great fun all the way round


2) Paul & Stiff

3) Stan & Glen

4) ??????????

yep sorry my notes fell apart for this one too,,, 
but you know who you are, and that's the important thing.




Novelties
Only 2 names on all of these
Earl won the 3 various NTP's 
Stan won the LD


Golden Hole
Whack, whack oooooopssss 
Nada, Nicht, zero as it didn't go off again, so more for next week.


Fines of the Week
And here we go for the fun and festivities as Xmas in July draws closer, well at least for Wifey!

Brett-- and his most ridiculous novelties for a team event, something he did actually own up to on the 3rd tee,,,,,, which was especially 'different' as he was playing with his marvellous 'tube of lube!'
Ask him for details.

Ciaran-- for almost literally 'losing his sh-t' and doing the best evers impression of Angry Golfer by throwing his 9 iron soooo hard it speared the ground!
Olympic Trials on their way buddy??

Ross-- for needing a new pink skirt, as he was oblivious to teeing off the ladies.

Peter-- for his marvellous impression of Gone Fishing, as he once again brought out his fishing stick to stock up the Raffle Prizes.

Random Pics
of which there really aren't many.

As mentioned previously, the Bad Boys looking after the MatchPlay Cup.
If you can't see anything, take note of the sign on the coke machine behind hehehehehehehehee

The pig that got away from Ciaran's bacon sarnie

MatchPlay Runner Up with the Cup, and a victorious subdued winner in the background.

My bloody batteries have run out again!

What???? You bought me a beer???
Thanks

Au Revoir and see ya all next week for more rain no doubt, and the first round of the

Winter Cup.

Til then, have a good un peeps,,,,,,